and yet more from the put down thread--jeez i hate your favorite band.

morphine---music for closet jazzbos who think tom waits is "progressive". the slide bass gimmick is good for one song----the one song they do. and if leonard cohen had a buttbaby with chris issaks this is what it would sound like.it'd be prettier than morphine though. this is the kind of thing 90's hipsters would break out on you to impress you but it depressed you.

ramones---are the musical equivalent of eating pop rocks and drinking soda==big whoopy whee and then diarrhea. they are smart like arizona celebrates martin luther king day. not much.they look and sound like the guys the droogies pounded in clockwork orange--and dee dee is so dumb old dudes wouldn't even hump him. anything after animal boy is a waste of time//oxygen//life. i wish the sweathogs would have made an album--oh wait--they did.

the smiths---poofiness uber alles. are we not men--no we are the smiths. any man with a sack shouldn't ever be caught dead listening to this. makes sarah mclachlan seem like andre the giant. there is really no excuse for their existence at all--ever. i want to kill james dean even more every time i have to look at morrisey. ugh beyond ugh. the only thing i can compare a smiths album too---is jail sex in the ear.

george jones---so pogo the possum makes country records now? if donald the duck drank moonshine and humped his cousin/sister it would sound like george jones. sometimes when i'm camping i shine my lights in the woods and it catches george's eyes. he's sadder than 20 greek tales too--- his records should come with a bottle of ole' kentucky uncledaddygrandfather

bruce springsteen--the boss of suck. supposed to be the everyman--but is really just the voice of some jersey mechanic. couldn't be whiter if he drank bleach and is about as exciting as watching clothes dry on a line but his concerts take longer than that. if you look up over-rated in the dictionary there is a picture of him--fixing billy joel's car.

madonna---queen of nothing. like listening to a styrofoam cup melt and just as sexy as the smell.she's so old she's not a cougar--she's a sabretooth. hasn't been sexy//cool//or relevant since around 1989. anyone who buys her records hates freedom and good music. it figures she's from detroit--broke down//abandoned and still around

queen---where all of mott the hoople's young dude's ended up. somebody found them the wrong somebody to love i guess. anything after" the game" is for euros mainly and other people who have sex with dogs and eat trash (hi france!) paul rodgers comes in but he can't hit the high notes--but i guarantee he can hit the brown ones! it'd take some kind of magic to make this crap listenable--another band sucks my nuts

reo---hey your waster uncle is in a band==awesome. wait--it's reo==weak. these feather-haired sissies ruined my childhood with their incessant whining about women. when you look like a scarecrow minus the stuffing--whaddya expect? and if "the cup is on the table' isn't the worst lyric ever--i',m not a bastard.music for big combs//trucks//people who don't enjoy sex because they can't pretend they are someone else.

king diamond--the only singer who makes geddy lee sound like the oakridge boy who says 'giddy up papa mow mow" in elvira. if he sold his soul for that voice satan hosed him. he's not even as scary as my gas bill.the only thing getting ritualistically slaughtered is my ears.

roky erickson--have you ever tried to light a match you've already lit. well that is how it is every morning for this guy.every song is about something horrible and scary--he gets his inspiration from the mirror i'd imagine. tie 2 cats to a werewolf and put 'em over the clothesline and you'll almost be there--now huff gas//sniff glue and trip----it almost would sound like music if you did.

nwa---the world's most dangerous poop. closet republicans. we can blame every gang related crime done by white people in towns of less than 10,000 on them. they had one good album in 'em--if you put everything they ever did together.led by a midget who was 300 years old and a cross dressing dj they made plumber cracks fashionable for the world--not just the county jail day room.

g.g. allin ate enuma fries. his music is what he hurled up after. add a severe dumbass to any b.f.b. (boy's first band) and you'll have the basic concept. now shove as much catpoop in your headphones as you can and put them on.that's his greatest hits. i don't think he's dead--i think he lives in the hollow earth of the murder junkies drummers butt.

order of the black hand---nosferatu starts a band with a flintstone//mario//and some lady. supposed to be scary but only my eardrums run away. clears a room faster than a roseanne barr fart. the musical equivalent of a fork in a microwave but at least that would put out some heat.

virgil----music too dumb for words. 4 math majors work on the "how bad can we suck "equation. and it sounds like they've hit pi. they probably wish they were canadian.i've heard better rythms in typing class and i flunked that too.music for professional tic tac toe players and back bacon eaters.

elvis costello--the true revenge of the nerds. the dumbest college rock you ever heard by a dude who makes buddy holly look like burt reynolds. of course he fired the band that made him good because he believed the hype and continued to fill cut out bins for 20 years with his "post-wipe" asschicanery. he's even done "chamber music" but i wonder why they left 'torture" off the title. music for smartypants soapboxers with nothing to say. "do the freddie" nerdlings!

Steely Dan---a band that lives up to it's name--a big dildo.two banker$ decided people in california needed wine cooler music and hit the target market. so sterile/clinical that surgeons wash their hands with "steely dan". possibly the ugliest band to ever make it that wasn't metal. if seinfeld were music--it would be this---a bunch of nothing that is not funny and only yuppies like it.