kidult

when you're a weirdo, usually after all the years and crap you have taken,  you just wear it well. and some days you just wanna yell "why am i such a fucking weirdo"?!?
either way--not much is changing. it's just a harder path than buying in "seems" to be.
notice the quotation marks?
it's because i've never successfully done it.
much like religion it is a topic i continuously deal with and yet don't deal with at all.
it spins around in my head like a top on a kitchen table--the most exciting thing it does is fall off the table.

when you're younger you do everything you can to get noticed until you realize the cops have noticed.
jail sucks when you're 15 and gets no better as you age, let me reassure you.
then you try to fade back into the woodwork where you can do what you need to without the world noticing.
for me around 30 i realized--this is me, i'm not gonna quit rocking out or reading comics, or being an angry s.o.b. that is not taking shit from the world.

i mean you can say that when you're 16 but how many of your high school pals still go to shows?
did you stay life long friends with your jail//rehab pals?  do you still have your tapes?
most of my friends do.

DEEZEN "Gimmee back my foreskin"

a track for an upcoming gizmos tribute cd called gizmo nation. giving some props to some hoosier pioneers of punk. proud to plays keys in a good band that keeps getting better and are 4 of my best friends!! also next month apr. 27th the ORDER OF THE BLACK HAND reunites to bring you down--this is "to the black hand true" from 2010.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w5tUPT6ZdYU

i hate everything

yep, it can all piss off into the wasteland it came from. sick of even the things that make me happy. what is the fucking point of any of it, ever? don't tell me to cheer up--just shut up so i don't come at you. in summary---fuck off.